Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
Qíngrén Jié Kuàilè！
Talking about "love", if you ask me the differences of "dating, relationship or marriage" between China and the West, there actually are some cultural awarenesses that you must know to get prepared for. This is in-case any romance hits you during your adventure in this country.You know FAMILY is the foundation and core of Chinese culture. Even though society has been tremendously transformed in the last few decades, some old values on relationship and marriage deeply rooted in many Chinese people's mind wouldn't fade easily. I will explain some of them for you here.
No worries, this article has nothing to do with the marriage-oriented relationship because that is a much more difficult topic to cover. I believe that it's a dream for everyone of the Chinese young generation that LOVE in China can eventually get more liberal.
In modern Chinese society, if you're lucky enough to meet an open-minded Chinese boy or girl, and when you start to date, try to understand his/her dating culture.
1. Splitting the bill (AA) for payment when dating is critical
I know it's very normal in the West to split the bill for dating, but be careful when you do this in China. I'm not encouraging sexism. In fact, it's very exciting to see gender equality has been improving a lot in big Chinese cities these years.However, it's still necessary for men to understand about paying bills and sometimes practising that.The practice of men paying the bill was from old times when men were dominant in society, and there was almost no opportunity for women to become financially independent.
(Women in ancient Chinese paintings)
Nowadays, in a sensible relationship, the boyfriend won't be expected to pay all the time. However, on some occasion, it will be thoughtful for the guy to conduct the old tradition:- The first date (hope not the last) to leave a good culturally aware impression.- Entertaining your girlfriends' family or friends to present a reliable and secure image.
2. ALWAYS take care of the girl!Not many modern girls will like this idea, but in reality, this is being shown:
I think this is from an incentive to be kind. As I said earlier, women were more vulnerable before, so it was always men's duty to take care of their partner.
Therefore ladies, sometimes soften your able women's style and leave some space for your Chinese boyfriend to show his care by carrying heavy groceries (but never your purse, I agree!).
Guys, do remember you're always expected to carry shopping stuff and do heavy housework. Trust me, your Chinese girlfriend won't mind their boyfriend's dominant care too much.
3. Having sex is taken very seriouslyIn almost all the public media in China, talking about sex is still a taboo. Please understand that this is the environment that someone who you are dating grows up in.Traditional Chinese culture attaches importance upon virginity for girls, which to some extent still has a big influence on the Chinese young generation. This is despite them having already had a lot more exposure to Western movies and shows talking about sex.In modern China, people's openness to sex varies. This is what you need to be careful with. Most importantly, be careful with moving on because some people will get offended if there's a misunderstanding between you.
Make sure you understand well the most important parts of the dating culture, now what remains to prepare is THE LANGUAGE!
How to confess your love in Chinese? (Confess - 表白biǎobái)
I love you！
In case you misunderstand, if a Chinese boy/girl likes you, don't be too surprised if he/she says "我爱你" after a few dates. This just means he/she really likes you. He/she says this to then propose an exclusive relationship.Can you become my girlfriend?Technically, "做我的男朋友吧？ (Zuò wǒ de nán péngyou ba?)" is also a doable phrase, but Chinese girls rarely say this.
I want to be together with you.
Wǒ xiǎng yuē nǐ chī wǎnfàn。
Can I ask you out for dinner？
Compared to asking someone out for drinks or coffee, dinner will always be a better option in Chinese culture. Then, a movie after dinner works perfectly.
Wǒ dì yī cì jiàn nǐ de shíhou jiù xǐhuan/ài shang nǐ le。
I fell for you the first time I saw you.I've been thinking of you.Practice these and confess your love to your Chinese boyfriend or girlfriend in Chinese today!If you're single now, never mind! Look at the Chinese population, You never know if your "THE ONE" will be among such a big population of China! It seems to be a high chance!